There is a place where film goes to die, and that place is currently Apple TV+; fortunately, the positive legs on cinema release Killers of the Flower Moon will signify an end to the tech giant’s vain strategy of making high-end films and dropping them unheralded, straight to their widely un-fancied streaming channel that’s Netflix but without the viewers. The current movement towards sharing what was once exclusive content might finally help find some of their expensive projects find an audience; for now, it’s worth gawping at the sheer hubris of making projects like Sharper, a rote confidence-trickster project that costs what a film does, but bypasses any scrutiny with zero opportunity for audiences to see or pay for it.
Sharper was on the 2020 Blacklist that supposedly connotes quality writing, ready for the screen, comes from top-shelf indie A24 and stars Julianne Moore, John Lithgow, Sebastian Stan and other notables; ten years ago, this kind of enterprise might have been expected to generate some coin with paying audiences, but not in 2023. Instead, Sharper is a standard-issue spec script twisty-turny thriller told from several different points of view. Tom (Justice Smith) is a nepo-baby guy, living in posho NYC and owning a bookshop with the money given to him by his hedge-fund father. Tom falls for mysterious girl Sandra (Brianna Middleton), who claims her brother is in trouble and says that she needs $350,000 cash to keep him alive; Tom obliges, but when Sandra doesn’t turn up at their favourite Japanese restaurant in Mott Street, he begins to smell a rat…
So without any need for spoilers, everyone is scamming everyone else in a film like this; it’s House of Games with most of the character and quirks removed. Stan and Moore play characters that may or may not be what they seem, and with nearly ten billion dollars in the pot, the stakes are high. Or rather, they should be high, expect none of these grasping, entitled characters seem to deserve that reward, or have any notion of what they might use it for; just wanting to be rich isn’t much of a motivation when everyone is at it. Moore is also an executive producer here, and gives herself a juicy enough role, but other than a blast of Talking Heads’ Slippery People, there’s little garnish other than the usual Apple TV+ movie emphasis on rich textures and out-of-focus backgrounds, and a game cast ticking off the plot points on the way to a seen-it-all-before fake-out conclusion.
At some point in Benjamin Caron’s film various characters are seen using, and being satisfied by, Apple’s patented brand of ear-buds, and that’s about as close as Sharper gets towards social commentary; as a product, it lacks identify. Apple Tv+ isn’t the only streamer that seems to see making media as a vanity project to burn off surplus cash, not subject to the conditions of the marketplace; the real trick is actually making stuff that people want to see, rather than just providing pricey, exclusive, widely unseen adverts for the streamer themselves. If films like Sharper are meant to be sharp practice by a savvy streamer, then they need to be considerably sharper than this.
Not another of the Smith clan. Was this the one that was in the Shyamalan film?
No, he was in Dungeons and dragons.
He was ok in that. But I think we’re done with expecting that clan to follow Big Will.
Jaden was enough.
Not a fan of Apple then ?
Not after forking out £300+ to get my laptop fixed last week, no.
How did you break it?
I just seemed to be possessed, wouldn’t stop doing things without me asking. Turned out the battery had swollen, so it was replaced, but the swollen battery had crushed the circuits, so two weeks later, back to square one but much poorer. It’s as if Apple deliberately scuppered their own products so they could make Julianne Moore movies.
Blimey. I’ve had Apple PC’s and a laptop for years and that hasn’t happened (yet!).
They just hid the self destruct button on their tech whenever the feel like milking more cash out of us.
Can’t feel that way, we’re both still using 1st gen ipads, Phils on a iPhone 7 and an 11 yr old imac, and I’m on an iPhone 11 with a 7yr old macbook air laptop and a 5yr old imac and everything is working fine (touching a big pile of wood now!). Think you’ve just been unlucky.
I guess they’re not milking you for Julianne Moore heist movies the way they are me.
You’re right, they love me best.
Swollen batteries? Sounds like a movie.
A bad movie.
The kind of bad movie that would generate a sequel?
Not as good as 9 1/2 Weeks, no.
Which is now called The First 9 1/2 Weeks.
I think Not Another 9 1/2 Weeks is a good title.
Sounds like they need a file to sharpen things up!
Or a machine for sharpening things.
I got nothing, sorry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IobNcpiwpSc
Oh goodness, that again. You really like that, don’t you?
It’s the sentiment!
Oh, I thought he was having imaginary conversations in his head….
Maybe he is. But you can hardly complain about having nothing when that video is all I have.
Yeah, that is pretty sad.
Ok, you win the saddest blogger award today….
What do I win?
A box of kleenex,..
man sized?
Sad sized.
Turn that frown upside down!
You can’t say that as the winner of The Saddest Blogger award!
Say something sad instead, like “my dog is dead” or “they stopped making coconut pineapple rockstar”. That last one is a real tear jerker.
Are you still drinking that stuff? It sounds foul…
I only have 2 cans left. I’m rationing them…
I can imagine.
I remember first hearing about the black list a few years ago and thinking it might have some connection to quality writing. Then I started recognizing how many poorly written turkeys were made out of black list scripts. Something is really off with screenwriting these days. Uninteresting characters, stupid plots, and formula, formula, formula over anything new and interesting.
There have been good blacklist scripts, but there’s a lot more bad ones now, and it doesn’t seem to mean much anymore. It seems to attract this kind of anonymous, spec-script stuff that’s always just a re-tread of something better. It’s a cut above the usual dreck, but not by much, and there’s a lack of flavour. Sharper is like an airline meal, it does the job, but it’s also got zero chance of ever being anything other than a stop-gap. And there is no way in the world that its making any money; it’s just a fake promotional tool, like the Blacklist itself.
I’ve gotta think there are some better ideas out there, but I don’t know how the system works much anymore. I knew some writers on the low-budget side of things in the ’90s and back then it was so hard to get anything made. You’d think with all the demand for content there’d be more gems among the dross.
Back to watching Ralphie cooking up a storm for a select group of guests.
That was a Black List movie too. I quite liked it.
Was it? I was wondering. Hm. You’re a tough critic. I’m halfway through and so far I’m just in a holding pattern.
Will look forward to your review.
Oh, that was one of the better ones. The Menu!