Sigh. I’ve got the same note for all of the Expendable movies to date; why can’t they deliver on the promise of the title and make all the characters seem, well, expendable? If there was one franchise that could have got away with a different cast every time, it was Sylvester Stallone’s all-star, all-macho mercenary action flicks. From John Ford’s They Were Expendable onwards, the notion of soldiers of fortune as voluntary cannon fodder, treated as dispensable by authorities or whoever hires them, would allow for regular personnel changes, ideal in a studio system where returning talent costs more and more. But if anything Expend4bles, the fourth entry in the Expendables franchise (the all female one never happened) also feels like a cheaper, budget version, with no big guest stars of the calibre of Harrison Ford, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris and all the action set in one dull location after an initial planes and cars opening in Libya.
It’s during this frenetic action sequence that the series main character Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) appears to die, burned alive in the cockpit of the plane that he uses to drop the other Expendables on location like a dutiful soccer mom. The crew find an impossible charred body with Barney’s ring on one finger, so that’s a positive ID and case closed, right? Sigh. Removing the central character, which failed in the Bourne or GI Joe movies and was mooted for Mission Impossible for a while, rarely works, even if the mantle falls on the dependable Joe Christmas, played by the even more dependable Jason Statham. Christmas falls out with the rest of the gang, who oust him and replace him in a like-for-like substitution with his girlfriend Gina (Megan Fox). Experienced soldiers like 50 Cent, Randy Couture and Dolph Lundgren don’t take kindly to Gina’s gal style, but when she leads the gang into a trap on an oil tanker, Christmas comes to the rescue with the help of a tracking device he gave Gina in a hunting knife…
Serving up more of the series’ traditionally awful CGI explosions, and with fights from Tony Jaa and Iko Uwais having much less impact than they have elsewhere, each of the Expendables movies feel like a greatest hits package; Christmas complains that he doesn’t like cover bands, but Expend4bles runs through a set of scenes that we’ve all experienced many times before. Without guest stars and stunt casting to break the monotony, this feels more like a spin-off than a continuation, and it’s no surprise when Barney’s death is finally revealed to be a red-herring; treading water is a central tenet of the modern blockbuster, and nobody ever really dies. That indestructible quality runs firmly against what the potential strength of the Expendables movies might have been; for now, this is passable, forgettable action cinema for hardened veterans with an emphasis on nostalgic indulgence.
Thanks to Lionsgate for big-screen access. Expend4bles is out now (22 Sept 2023)
Ok, here we go.
I had a presentiment they were going to make Statham the new face, or at least try. Stallone is too old, I don’t care if they makeup him to death or cgi de-age him or whatever. If you HAVE to keep him around, make him a desk jockey. Don’t like it bub? too bad, you’re old. Now sit down, pull up those depends and drink your ensure.
Statham obviously has the chops to be the leading man. But that’s all on the writers and director to make it happen. While I’ve enjoyed the franchise, I don’t go into these movies expecting anything great. Explosions, gun fights, a babe, and bad guys getting their just desserts.
Speaking of babes. So Fox tries to lead them eh? I’m sorry, but that’s the most ridiculous thing ever this franchise has tried to do. Maybe if she was a jacked up Amazonian, but if Dolph Lundgren just looked at her wrong she’d break in half. so the appeal she might have had for me just disappeared.
I’m still going to watch this though 😀 E3 went to prime free pretty quickly after release, so I expect the same here. And I’m ok with that. Explosions, gun fights, a babe and bad guys getting theirs. It’s all good.
This was better than my review. You sound like a true friend of the Expendables.
I thoroughly enjoyed the first one. but each one went a little downhill, but not enough for me to truly think “oh, they stink now”.
I still couldn’t bring myself to go below three, but it’s weaker sauce every time, the mixture reduces like a broth, thinner every time.
Ohhh, a food metaphor. And so perfect too.
Sir, I bow before your movie culinary mastery…
Incoming A-Game Comment in 5minutes. Bookstodge 2.0 is currently booting up…
The world is waiting!
And it’s there. For some reason,, I didn’t get notified of your reply until right now, about 20min after you’d posted it.
Great, now the wp notification is getting messed up…
Your comment is undiminished.
Comments have been acting weird for me all day. I’ve had several simply disappear on sites, so I think WP is out to get me after all…
I don’t like to nope Statham, but I’m going to have to for this. I don’t think I’ve seen any of this series so not a great loss.
Reserve Statham, domestic brand, for emergencies only. Like cooking sherry.
Looking forward to Meg 2 though!
That’s a Bacardi breezer rolling around on the floor of the subway home.
Wut??
If we’re comparing Statham films to drinks, a Bacardi Breezer is what Meg 2 is equal to.
That’ll do for me.
Was this the one all done in sign language?
According to the trailer there were a few randos on the Internetz who were asking for this. Interesting ad campaign.
Megan Fox is wearing a leather garter-belt ammo clip? At least that’s new.
I had a MySpace page dedicated to demanding this film was made soon.
Megan Fox is somehow high maintenance to watch.
Yes, this is presented in mime, with Kabuki inter titles.