FUBAR

Arnold Schwarzenegger, as you’d expect, takes good care of himself; he’s managed a fairly unique career as a bodybuilder, actor and politician, and managed to dodge the downside that usually comes with all three. Since his tenure as California’s Governator ended, movies haven’t quite known what to do with the big man. Sure, there’s action movie cameos alongside Stallone, several returns to his iconic Terminator franchise, plus lower-wattage projects like Maggie or Aftermath, but none of them really expand the Schwarzenegger ethos; recent footage of him mending a pot hole in his street felt like a return to form. So Netflix swooped in, with a documentary series on the Pumping Iron actor due soon, and FUBAR, a jokey big action confection, debuting now; the takeaway is that the wags at Netflix don’t really know what to do with him either.

FUBAR feels a lot like The Citadel which feels a lot like The Night Agent which felt a lot like True Lies; it’s the usual green-screen international espionage shenanigans with the usual hybrid mix of cars, guns and family values. Luke Brunner (AS) is introduced masterminding a daring heist in Antwep’s diamond district; he’s been playing the game for decades, and wants out; ‘So I guess I’m done, that’s it and that’s all’ Brunner says emphatically. Brunner has his own little team to dad manage including Ruth (Fortune Feimster from The Mindy Project) who helps keep the wisecracking-on-the job quota high with margin note references to Lilo and Stitch or a proposed Wilford Brimley film festival. But Brunner runs into serious trouble when he meets up with a new agent in the field; his own grown-up daughter Emily (Monica Barbaro) who doesn’t appreciate the paternal conflict; the first episode is archly titled ‘Take Your Daughter to Work Day.’

So we’ve been here before with Arnie in the likes of True Lies or Kindergarten Cop; the action is fairly mild, largely reduced to just off-camera splatter, and much of the comedy comes from the contrast with the star’s tough-guy routine and his keen participation in suburban family events like a ‘Sunday Funday cook-off’. ‘Things are going to get real tense, real soon.’ we’re warned, but FUBAR feels a little slow out of the gate, with a familiar dad vibe and a lot of ear-burning dialogue like ‘You can do Euclidean geometry’ or ‘That’s a Congolese warlord’s diamond, I need that in evidence’ to which maverick Luke Brunner replies without shame; ‘I only took one.’

FUBAR isn’t quiet as transgressive as its aggressively acronymed title might suggest, the view of the spy game isn’t particularly flavorsome, and the element of threat isn’t really sharp enough to throw the Brunner family conflicts into any particular relief. And Schwarzenegger is a beloved star rather than a transformational actor; Brunner fits alongside roles like John Matrix, John Kimble, Jericho Kane as being one more run-around for the perennial action hero. The presence of a genuine film star at the centre of this streaming series should attract a crowd, but FUBAR is firmly tv rather than cinema; it’s comfort food, easy to digest as a frozen pizza, but with as much to remember afterwards, despite its memorable, super-sized protagonist. Arnie’s heart is firmly in the right place,and he’s managed to land on the right side of history, but that career-reinventing project he requires still eludes him.