Fast X

Nothing in the trailer, the title or the poster art suggest that Fast X is part one of a film; another summer blockbuster Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning-Part One has no such problem. Going into the cinema unaware you’re about to see the first section of a two or possibly three part film creates precisely the opposite effect that the measured ending of John Wick 4 had; instead of introducing plot elements and characters that come together in an unexpectedly satisfying way, the various components of Fast X end up lying about like Hot Wheels toys discarded on a child’s bedside rug. And I thought we were done with the whole ‘splitting films in several bits’ lark anyway, after the Twilight and Hunger Games franchises stumbled at the last hurdle by separating their dramatic endgame into segments that took so too long to come around that half their audience had moved on.

So while the insatiable public appetite for such high-octane Tex Avery-physics carmageddon destructathon rampages will likely propel Fast X to the usual series box-office heights, it’s not one of the better entries in a Fast & Furious franchise. That series of films scored a notable comeback from the law of diminishing returns when the seminal Tokyo Drift discovered a driving mojo that rebirthed the franchise and sustained it through a strong second trilogy that included the real breakout, franchise darling Rio Heist. Louis (The Incredible Hulk, Clash of the Titans, Grimsby) Leterrier’s film for Universal starts by retconning Rio Heist’s concrete-splintering safe-on-a-chain climax, now remodelled to introduce Jason Momoa as big bad Dante Reyes with a mission to take down Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel). Reyes plans to get Toretto through his weak spot, his love for his family, and franchise fans will recognise that Toretto has been established as a family man. Dom’s brother Jakob (John Cena) does what he can to protect Toretto’s son, but Lettie (Michelle Rodriguez) falls into the hands of Dante, a flamboyantly camp villain who looks and acts like a 60’s Batman villain.

All of this is framed with a wider story in which Toretto is wrongly accused of a bombing attempt at the Vatican; in proper Fast and Furious style this incendiary device takes the form of a giant ball that looks like it should say ACME on the side. Toretto and his team (Tyrese Gibson, Ludicrous, Natalie Emmanuel) somehow ending up chasing this giant sphere in their cars down the Spanish Steps in Rome, bopping the ball around in the traffic. Such childish sequences are where the franchise excels with goofy OTT visuals, and for fans, this should be enough to earn the film pass marks. There’s also increasingly fakey explosions and stunt-work, a very firm no swearing, no sex, minimal violence, and general vanilla flavouring that reflects the MOR attitude the series increasingly reflects. Additional returnees include Charlize Theron, Helen Mirren, Jason Statham, Sung Kang and Scott Eastwood; newbies dragged into the fray include Pete Davidson, Rita Moreno and Brie Larson taking over from MIA Kurt Russell as Mr Nobody.

The cheerful gang show mentality still invests the Fast and Furious franchise entries with an easy-going, undemanding guilty-pleasure charm, but it’s wearing a little thin by movie ten. Other than the big basilica bagatelle set piece, there’s not much more than a motorway showdown with a cannon car that really drops the hammer action-wise. Otherwise, it makes sense that the bad guys would cop onto the ‘cult with cars’ that Toretto’s extended family offer. It’s the right motive for a final act struggle, but that struggle doesn’t materialise, we just see Dom fall into a trap and that’s it, and 2025 feels a long way away to find out what happened to characters we’re not that heavily invested in from film to film. Maybe, like Letty’s convenient amnesia, we’ll eventually forget about the bad times, but fans may well feel a little short-changed by this surprise cliff-hanger; there’s something to be said for the art of satisfying blockbusters, and Fast X doesn’t even try to play that game.