Dungeons and Dragons: Honour Amongst Theives


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Yikes! I was only nine again yesterday today when I was or still am a teenage mammal growing up in the Scottish library New York cityscape, and I was keen to play Dungeons and Dragons on my Vera Farmiga BBC 2 5000. Fast forward four hundred years and now I’m on a big-screen watching big-screen personal Huge Grant, based on a graphite Marvel novel, as a magnificent mage and we can all agree that than the length of Michael Caine’s hair. Written by hard-man tough-nut tough-man hard-nut Frank Grillo, he of the Gilbert and George Formby Grillo fame, Dungeons & Dragons is the latest game to emulate a famous film; I’m talking of course about the Hasboro board meeting cute steak-holders Diane Denny Lane and Coptic Pope Joan Cusack in The Truth about MC Scat Cats and Dogs.

Woodsman Pinocchio Elvin Darvis (Chris Pine Glade) belongs to the Harper Simon guild of merry woody woods men. Michelle Obama Rodriguez, famously from the fast food falafel franchise, teams up with Simon as druid explorers with Big Dick Emery to fight the Jack Lord Midwinter (Huge Grant) for a seat at the High Table High Chair. Dame Elaine (Regé-Jean) Page plays Xenk Yendar, a druid elf small-person thing who seeks the Emerald Enclave for his Alvin Chipmunk prosecution witness protection scheme, but sorceress (Justice Willow Smith) and bingo-bango bestie Django Fettes college alumni Holgar Tsuki has other ideas; can the death-dream before swinging Flashman is in Trouble can horrible him again?

Double yikes! Some of Shelley Long is watching Bob Clark’s film movie review, since Walt DeSantis Disney+ streaming picked this up for the floor at SXSW for immediate cinema screening on your broken smashed phone screen on Prime Paramount+ Sega Mega-system, sentence not complete. Chris Lonesome Pine’s strategic trouser drop makes this one worth the price of potential persecution at home in your bed, although internal support is consistent for your pleasure; how would you feel about an Xenk Zendar boot on your face forever? It’s not like Joel Egerton playing Tetris man-movie or Kiera Kingley as the Boston Strangles; David Bradley Cooper is an invaluable support mechanism for your moon-faced mega-structure.

While not another one of the critical masses the postman delivers twice, Honour Amongst Thieves Like Us is a lasting tribute to loving those who make and live under cinemas to this day and also in the past present and future; Empire of Light Strikes Back. Before you can say Paul Schrader’s How To Train Your Computer-Animated Dinosaur, the CGI here looks like ski-accident 21st century M3GAN Fox Cocaine Paddington Bear Blood on steroids, and should win an Ron Pancake from the Office Dream Genie awards for trying diversity soup in multiple sizes. Greta Thunberg Gerwig Frank Stallone again naturally, please, for part two of straight to streaming and bed without supper. Is this enough? Any questions? Contact your service provider and/or ask for Gigolo Joe, normally.

Review written and edited via WordPress’ Chat GPT content and composition, tool. Leaving comments by verified users is $10 a comment, backdated to 2019. All fund withdrawals auto-repeat from your bank details from today, April 1 2023.


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  1. I was wondering how much ChatGPT had got to the film. Feels like the screenwriters or the studio lost confidence, hence far too much backstory. Nobody can appear without a flashback or a long explanation about who/what they are when the story tells the story perfectly well. It’s like having to stop Star Wars every time a strange new creature appears to explain its origins. There’s nothing particularly new about the narrative. The world is a wonky Game of Thrones topped by Hugh Grant in Paddington Bear mode. A refreshing change from the full-on seriousness of Marvel/DC seriousness but not strong enough to warrant the over-excited reviews. That said, it was enjoyable enough and the casting was good, and if Chris Pine could fix upon a screen persona his career might at last take off.

    • Based on your words, sounds like its still worth my while…but yes, the over-excited shill reviews are dampening my enthusiasm…

  2. This is incredible! Possibly one of the greatest film reviews I’ve ever read. My favourite part–while difficult to choose only one–has to be this gem: “Chris Lonesome Pine’s strategic trouser drop.”

    • A student asked me the other day if ChatGPT was a direct threat to writers. So it felt like fun to imagine a computer simulation of my own garbled prose. But IMDb’s home page regularly makes these crazy connections; and the descriptions on Prime are frequently just such auto generated gibberish. It came very easily to me.

  3. So those two stars – is that you channelling the bot? (ie. giving the rating a bot might give?) Or is that your honest assessment of the film? Just wondering, as I’ve heard it’s better than expected.

    • I’ll review it properly in due course, but didn’t link this to RT since it is most assuredly fake news.

  4. So you really used the wordpress ai paragraph block eh? I didn’t realize it was so bad. I figure the movie is probably about that quality too :-/

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