Lock Up

To celebrate the release of the passable Creed III and as part of my Stallone Again Naturally series of articles about the Rocky star, this critic finally felt moved to exhume Lock Up, one of his least popular efforts from the 80’s. While Sylvester Stallone’s career as a major star was still going strong as he developed Rocky and Rambo into franchises, his original efforts left something to be desired, and Stallone in the Slammer wasn’t a concept that put bums on seats. But John Flynn’s film is representative of the quirks of Stallone’s remarkably personal oeuvre, and proves a rewarding watch when approached correctly.

Escape has always been a big part of Stallone’s mind-set; we’re now on Escape Plan 3, while titles like Escape to Victory and Daylight offer a similar insight into the elusive visible goal required for a Stallone motivational text. Lock Up begins with an ancient cliché, lots of old photos in frames establishing what a great guy our hero Frank Leone is; we even see him blowing dust off one and polishing it so we know how much the snap meant to him as Bill Conti’s sad piano plays. Frank Leone is in jail for undisclosed reasons, and can only visit his girlfriend on weekends despite being a model prisoner. But things change for Frank Leone when Warden Drumgoole, the brutal governor of another jail, decides to take revenge against Leone for some negative comments in the past by putting him in a maximum security mega-jail and tormenting the poor soul by dressing him and his fellow inmates as Andy Pandy.

Who could play Drumgoole? If you had Donald Sutherland with a buzz-cut and moustache combo on your bingo card, you’re in luck; ‘This is hell and I’m going to give you the guided tour!’ Drumgoole patiently explains to Leone, a peaceful man who is not pleased with the new arrangements. But Leone is literally the bigger man, and instead of going on a blue-balls rampage when Drumgoole cruelly impinges on his conjugal visits, Leone works out his energy by befriending other inmates (the late Tom Sizemore, John Amos) and inspiring them to play sports AND repair cars in other montage-ready be-all-you-can-be music videos sequences. Sizemore actually makes an impression here in a weirdo role; as the canteen slop is dished onto his plastic tray, he quips; ‘That’s just like mom used to make. That’s why I shot her.’ Elsewhere, it’s the 80’s, so lots of ceiling and wall fans, even more steam, Stallone refuses to submit to authority, in a Cool Hand Luke style, and Drumgoogle eventually gets taken down a peg or two on an antique electric chair.

But what makes Lock Up a winning proposition these days is the music; Stallone’s personal taste always informs his soundtrack choices, and it’s not hard to see how he came up with the choons that enliven this film. We’re often told to beware the Ides of March, but not when they’ve got a banger like Vehicle, appropriately used for a gay AF workshop montage which features grown men spraying each other with hoses and paint. That’s a stone cold classic and no messing, but the discerning Stallone fan will find themselves drawn to another song from the pen of Jim Peterik, Ever Since The World Began. It’s a monumental tune with vocals by the classic lead singer of Survivor, something of a house band for the Rocky films. For your entertainment and elucidation, I’ve provided links to both game-changing tracks above; you’ll come to Lock Up for Stallone, but it’s his amazeballs musical choices that make watching Lock Up such a beguiling proposition these days.