Let’s hope this really is Magic Mike’s Last Dance, because if there’s one franchise that’s played out beyond repair, it’s Steven Soderbergh’s male-stripper movies. Back in the sunny, carefree days of 2012, Soderbergh followed up the commercial success of his Oceans Eleven reboot with Magic Mike, a low-budget, politically and socially aware study of male strippers in California. Showcasing top talents in Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey, Magic Mike was a notably fresh and well deserved hit, a four-star movie with compassion and believably gritty detail about the hard-scrabble life of the young male performer.
Magic Mike was a must-see movie, not just for cineastes and economists, but also for the Mamma Mia and bingo wings set whose disposable cashola provided Soderbergh with an unexpected cash cow; he could make umpteen personal or obscure projects as long as he kept coming back to Tatum, who keeps himself in good shape. Magic Mike XXL, however, was a vacuous, empty sequel that diminished the first film’s work ethic with a glib talent-show narrative, and this misbegotten third part is about as welcome as a free Tesla. Mike’s furniture business has gone tits up, and rather than let down his investors, he agrees to choreograph a West End show in London for posho entrepreneur Maxandra Mendoza (Salma Hayek, replacing Thandie Newton who thought better of this mid-filming and walked). Max is somehow replacing her stuffy period play at the rather ratty ‘Rattigan Theatre’ with a non-stop male striptease extravaganza, as you do, and Mike’s task is to put together a squad of buff guys and teach them routines to thrill the ladies.
When Max’s precocious daughter quizzes Mike about why he needs to put on the show, she provides a line about societal economic disparity, but Soderbergh has a tin ear for London life in general, and the laughable results (stoic butlers, dithering MP’s) are straight outta Mary Poppins. A scene in which a stuffy Westminster council decision maker changes her mind about giving the show permission due to the performers spontaneously grinding themselves into her on the top deck of a London bus is agonisingly retro; isn’t that what all stuck-up women need to persuade them, to relax and enjoy random strangers grinding their crotches into them on public transport?
Nope. A running joke that gets at least three unwarranted call-backs is how delighted Max‘s child is by Mike’s performance; she’d be a lot more likely to think that the increasingly vapid Mike was a complete dick. London is presented as ridiculously squeaky clean, untypically friendly and Soderbergh is happy to provide free ads for every possible service from Fortnum and Masons to Paddy Power. We climax, if that’s the word, with a ridiculous finale in which Mike, who has promised that he’s never going to dance again, suddenly produces an immaculately choreographed routine that we have not seen him rehearse and prepare in any way. Fitting right into that Valentine’s Day sh*tbox slot that the 50 Shades of Grey movies made their own, Magic Mike’s Last Dance is a soiled day-glo thong in the gutter that you’d cross the road to avoid; the box office may ring, but the bell tolls for Soderbergh’s considerable talent which has come undone here like his protagonist’s side-fastening pants.
A Warner Bros. Pictures Presentation, “Magic Mike’s Last Dance” slides into UK and US cinemas February 10, 2023. Thanks to Warner Bros UK for big screen access to this movie.
Never saw the first one, wont be seeing this one… Is the directer also behind the upcomming ChipnDales docudrama?
I’m skipping that one, all strippered out..:
hahaha good call
There you go. Pure audience appeal with an audience crying out for it and you are running it down because, I guess, you are not that audience. I gave them all a miss and I’ll do the same here, but I do think Tatum is a big draw and often under-rated. His film about the dog sneaked under the radar but audiences found it – as did I. If franchises are the only way to get people to the cinema, let’s keep ’em. They might improve. Remember, critics used to scorn the endless stream of Tarzan, Sherlock Holmes, Charlie Chan etc, but they kept cinemas going in lean times. No matter how worthy some of the Oscar fodder is, I bet cinemas were wishing there was more Magic in the Mike.
I just with it was any good! If it was we might have dancing movies, romantic movies, let’s put on a show movies, a Tinto Brass revival, all sorts. But there’s nowt magic about this Mike. Tatum is a great, personable leading man but his charm runs thin in such a shonky enterprise. There are reasons why this film kept reminding me of Nutcracker, so much I had to track it down.
That’s below the belt, comparig it to Nutcracker.
Melanie is backing me up!
She would.
Ill pass on magic mike in the retirement home as well hehehe
I wouldn’t be surprised if he was still going in his 70’s!
Viagra is a beautiful thing lol 😆
Talking about flogging a dead man stallion this film, and not in a good way 😂 will pass on it. I saw the ad on a bus shelter can it look any more boring 😴
Wish I’d come up with that opening line!
Okay, okay, okay. Will this movie be great? Certainly not. Do I have already have my tickets for my seat reserved on Saturday night? You bet.
The first film certainly had depth. The second and (sounds like) third one are silly and intended for a girl’s night out, which is exactly what I intend to have.
The 6 of us haven’t gotten together for drinks, dinner, and a movie since the last Magic Mike, so the quality of the movie actually matters very little to me for once.
As my friend G said, “We need to reserve our tickets now, before all those crazy thirsty women in their 40s do……oh wait, that’s us.”
Here’s to Magic Mike XXXXXL, Magic Mike After the Last Dance, Magic Mike Dances Again, Return of Magic Mike, Return of Magic Mike XXL, Magic Mike Dances at the Nursing Home………
Sigh. I don’t know why I bother sometimes. Meanwhile Women Talking is unspooling in an empty cinema near you…
I will try to be better in the future but I am weak!
NO! Do not accept the patriarchy! Down with a magic Mike! Up with Sarah Polley and Carey Milligan! You can do better! No Golden Age to critique either, I guess prep for Magic Mike must be keeping you busy. Will there be an accompanying lecture series?
I’m finishing up today’s post now, I was distracted by watching the Magic Mike trailer on a continuous loop.
I will do a double bill with Mike and She Said, but I’ll be watching She Said alone and Mike in a packed theater.
Hey, I don’t make the rules……
Is this the way of the world, or the way we have made the world? How responsible are we for the way things are?
I’m totally up for Magic Mike, but they really are phoning these sequels in…
It’s true. We get the cinema we pay for, and for me Magic Mike is a fun night out with friends and not a movie I would watch by myself.
I’ll all about a mixed diet. Tarkovsky today, Adam Sandler tomorrow…
Exactly. Every once in awhile it’s okay to have ice cream for breakfast……
Agreed.
I saw this tonight as planned.
My expectations were low.
But not low enough.
Where do I even begin?
You used the word “vapid” and that says it all.
It’s in the conversation for the worst movie I’ve ever seen.
A stripper movie with no stripping.
Constant talk of empowered women with a female lead who will one day boil Channing Tatum’s bunny .
A stripper movie narrated by a young girl.
A finale full of men dancing with 0 characters development…we don’t even know their names.
I could go on but I’d rather not.
It’s in that ‘worst movie’ mix for sure. But everyone I warn about it says, oh, you’re just a prune, it’s just fun, hot guys, dancing, music, lighten up!
Thanks so much for confirming that I am not heretical in my opinion about this. As you say, we don’t even know the names of the characters. And that is not any kind of London, ever. Tone deaf to women, horrible music, nothing dance routines; please write a full article about your experience! Please!
Yes, I feel that I must write more about it! I’ve thrown out today’s already written post and am working up something about Magic Mike as we speak. This cannot wait!
The world is watching! We need to let people know before it’s too late!
How do you keep the day-glo colours in your thongs from fading? Not interested in hearing about any soiling incidents.
Wash them separate, don’t tumble drive…
Yes, I liked the first one too. Of course, we couldn’t just have one. Hollywood must franchise everything that makes a buck. I would recommend people who haven’t seen the first one see that instead of this, which sounds just as bad as the trailer hinted it would be.
Why did you watch this? I mean, seriously?
First film was good. Like the stars and the directors. Hoped for a fun time. The old story.
Ahh yes, the shameful old story. Boy watches movie. Movie watches boy. Sequels ensue. Cries n wails of regret but to no avail…
Thoughts that spring to mind…
Crope.
Channing Tatum is better than this – see Shantaram. Also he’s DDG.
Salma seems to be determined to send her career to the bottom of the barrel.
Americans have watched too much Downton Abbey.
Also, brilliant critique, made me laugh.
I’m a big fan of everyone involved here; FFS Soderberg’s book on film-making is one I’d recommend to anyone. But it all falls apart to stupefying effect here, and the vision of London is chimney-sweep tastic.
Glad someone got some pleasure out of my wasted Monday morning!
Can’t win them all I guess.
came back to correct myself. Tatum wasn’t in Shantaram, it was Charlie Hunman, I get them mixed up.
Splendid critique and insight. How large a screen do I need to watch this? (Not asking for a friend)
I’m not prude! First film was great, this one, not so much. I saw it on a proper big cinema screen but I wish I’d seen it over someone’s shoulder on a long haul flight. The smaller the screen, the better. Or just watch the first one again.
Not a prude. Or no prude. Spellchecker changing it to prune…