‘Hello, am I through to Netflix? I’d like to speak to the algorithm in charge please. Yes, I’ll hold…’ We haven’t had a zero-stars hate-watch for a while, but if Netflix are going to publish grubby bottom-rung British sexploitation on their streaming website, I’m obliged to call them out on it. This isn’t the 70’s, so we don’t have to hand-wring about erosion of our moral standards or what happens if children see this kind of muck. But we can call it as we see it; normalising such dog-eared, woman-hating porn surely isn’t a great look for the Netflix brand in 2022. It’s almost as if Twitter got a new boss who used his first tweet for the kind of idle, bullying slander that will lead most customers to immediately seek other methods of communication….
Sex sold in the 70’s, when there was no magic porridge pot of clips and images on tap via the internet; The Playbirds was a sequel of sorts to Come Play With Me, and both films made a small fortune for 70’s pornographer now turned 21st century media baron David Sullivan. Shortly before he served jail time in the 80’s for living off the income of prostitution, Sullivan was keen to make a star of his then girlfriend Mary Millington, who plays the lead in both films, but she committed suicide while The Playbirds was still in theatres. The Playbirds takes its title from one of Sullivan’s own array of pornographic magazines, and the narrative takes the line that the female cover stars are being murdered one by one. Millington plays WPC Lucy Sheridan, who agrees to pose for the magazine to act as bait for the killer. Does this all sound seedy enough to give you the picture?
As a deeply misogynist text, The Playbirds doubles and triples down on outright unpleasantness; aside from objectifying women in the crudest possible way through dismal-looking and demeaning striptease routines, the audience are then further invited to vicarious ‘thrills’ as the same women are hunted down and brutally murdered on camera. The sub-giallo plot allows from a variety of slumming British comedy stars to appear; Derren Nesbitt, Windsor Davies, Kenny Lynch, Ballard Berkley and That’s Life star Gavin Campbell all appear. One of the dumbfounding things about the way films like this expose the 70’s British media is that people who were popular children’s and family entertainers cashed in on their stardom in such cheapo, nasty films. It’s also suggestive that many of the same people who were involved in films like this are still powerful figures today.
Let’s be sex-positive by all means; there’s nothing wrong with nudity or the human body, and there are films in this genre that might be worth a revival. But The Playbirds isn’t one of them, a vile example of the brutal treatment of women that was the norm in certain strata of British society, and remains so today. It’s a repellent, out-dated and decidedly reprehensible film that shouldn’t be banned or censored, just not normalised and promoted on a global streaming service.
The Playbirds is on Netflix UK, Netflix Spain, and beyond. No trailer for this one, sorry.
You can add and Netflix Finland to the list of where to view (or not).
Why this film? Are people stumbling up the Ramblas in Barcelona rushing home to watch The Playbirds? I like retro style, but this is quite extreme in a bad way. Yet Netflix seem to think this is worth several territory release…
I was surprised you guys got it, we have an influx of Euro movies every month. Latest was Helmut Berger shadow dancing in Un beau monstre and Alain Delon in wee speedos in La Piscine…
You are lucky! Netflix have served up Tod Slaughter in Sweeney Todd and Kenny Everett in Bloodbath in the House of Death. I cannot explain these choices in any way…
Oh I added the creme de la creme, we also have Tommy Steele and NOT in Half a Sixpence and Cliff Richard in Take Me High…
That Cliff Richard title must be the dirtiest one I’ve ever heard. Is the Steele film Where’s Jack? It was in prime a few years back…
The Tommy Steele Story…
Yikes. Saw him as Scrooge in Glasgow on stage a few years ago and he’s still a live wire.
Really, in Glasgow.. was Jimmy Krankie cast as Tiny Tim? Seriously, have fond memories of panto in Glasgow with Rikki Fulton and Stanley Baxter from the 1970s. I am sure I would have been taken to this if I had been a kid now…
Touring show at the theatre Royal. Steele is a trooper, old school style! My first panto was Anita Harris at the Kings…
I went to the Kings every year, saw Anita Harris in Aberdeen as Peter Pan.
Snap!
Yay! I think I just missed the ones when the Krankies took over. Great memories, there really is nothing like a Scottish panto.
I saw the Krankies one where they fell off the beanstalk at the Pavillion. I used to review five pantos a year, so my tolerance level is pretty high…
Wow, that sounds a perfect job.. sadly they don’t do panto here. Did you get the royal box??
Oh, no I didn’t!
Make that Glaswegian panto
Was initially going to say I was astonished this has turned up on Netflix. But nothing would surprise me about Netflix. Setting aside that the star committed suicide as a result of her experience in porn, it’s as you say about as repulsive as they come.
I am not some woke-ist prude. There were a lot of sexy films in the 70’s, and films like Immoral Tales or even broad comedies like Eskimo Nell have their merits. This does not. So, my three billboards are…
Why this?
Why now,
How come, Netflix?
I could do it with two. Single words on each. First Word begins with F.
Agreed. Is misogyny a group they have to cater for?
Seem to be indiscriminate all round.
Mr. Snarky. You brought up the 1932 one not me.
Since the 1979 version WAS NOT MENTIONED in your account.facT!
Nope it was you who didn’t mention it FaCt!
You didn’t mention it first!
True.
Well I will Double Nope these puerile movies. Yuckety yuck.
Is the correct answer.
Sounds like an absolute yuck!
And as an aside, I also don’t know what time it is!
Welcome to the chaos.
Everyone is confused. But it’s time Netflix stopped normalizing violence against women. Fact!
Lunch time here.
Just blowing the leaves off the lawn.
But I thought yesterday you WERE calling for Alex to post pics? All this historical revisionism going on is making my head spin.
Plus the stupid time change totally messed up everything. Grrrrrrrr…..
What time is it where you are?
If you saw the kind of pics Alex was posting, you wouldn’t be calling for more. Nothing a gym membership and some sound fashion advice couldn’t save, but the effort to reform has to first of all come from Alex himself.
I don’t know WHAT time it is. The time change always throws me for a loop at first. One clock says 6:35am, another says 7:35am. Madness I tell you, pure madness!
I’d like it to be on the record that “I” never called for Alex to post pix.
Motion carried, court adjourned for lunch….
We went through it last week, so I’m writing this message from the future.
Great, lunch, a Caesar salad wrap and a Snapple pink lemonade for me…
How’s the future these days? Any chance of getting an inside look at the winning numbers for powerball? I wouldn’t mind 1.9 billion right now.
Awwww, why you gotta ruin a perfectly good caesar salad with a wrap?
I enjoy a Caesar salad wrap several times a week and won’t be constrained by your ‘wokeist’ attitudes to wraps!
Numbers are 1, 3, 7, 23, 42, 46, 49 and the thunder ball is 17. Good luck!
Great. If I win, I’m totally doubling your take!
Wraps are for tortillas and burritos only. Anything else is an abomination against nature itself.
Why?
Because.
+1
Why? +1
Why ask why?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WQP8sWRDzQ
Why not ask why not?
I thought the song effectively answered that. Pay attention Mr Zombie!
https://youtu.be/HG7I4oniOyA
That’s not a Eurythmics song, so it doesn’t count.
Bailiff, remove such offending content from our courtroom. And get that wrap out of here too while you’re at it.
She was a Eurythmics. The court will allow further discovery of this topic? Sweet Dreams?
If it has Annie AND the Eurythmics in the metadata, the Prosecution will allow it…
It does. Case closed. No More I Love You.
Surely she was a Eurythmic (singular)?
Good point. I stand corrected.
Totally missed the time change here as well.
How big a cut of the Powerball winnings do your fellow WP4 members get?
Don’t give him a penny, Captain! I don’t fix this lottery so any Tom Dick or Harry can fund their dubious political careers…
With that much money, Alex could practically become President of any country he chose. Any particular ones you think he should avoid?
Ones with zombie pirates.
Yeah, his record of dealing effectively with them is a bit off. So Scotland is out then….
We have zombie pirates?
Zombie Highlanders, Zombie Pirates, they both have swords, so the same thing, right?
No. There can be only one.
Exactly. And Alex can’t be it, so that’s why he can’t be President of Scotland.
I’m glad we cleared up this important issue.
NEXT!
The court adjourns.
Do you have the time change in canada? Or have they done away with that outdated thinking?
If I win, I’m sure to reward each of you with exactly as much as you deserve.
So, like 20 bucks, hahahahaa 😀
We have the time change, but instead of putting the clocks back an hour we turn the calendars back a month. So we’re rerunning October. Which means another Thanksgiving!
Another FAKE Thanksgiving I think you mean.
I plan on writing up a Definitive Post on Real Thanksgiving versus Fake Thanksgiving later this month.
It should clear everything up for you. And I won’t even take it out of your cut of my lottery winnings either.
Thanksgiving is in October?
Another Abomination against nature itself!
Biden must hang his head in shame!
He doesn’t celebrate Real Thanksgiving?
Not in October, no.
He’d better not!
“there’s nothing wrong with nudity or the human body”
I could post some selfies that would put the lie to that.
This sounds a bit too much to the exploitation side of things for me, and I have a pretty high tolerance for such fare. Are you going to review All Quiet on the Western Front? I heard that was OK.
No, I’d rather you didn’t post these particular pictures in my comments, Alex, we had a lot of complaints last time. They were so badly lit and posed, and the skin-tones made you look like a blancmange. I’d really rather you didn’t pursue this line of self-promotion, and certainly not on my review of The Rescuers Down Under.
I guess I’ll look at All Quiet, but it seems a bit out of place on Netflix too; a revival of a 1930s film? Is that all they got?
So things that are verboten are attractive, and in my weakest moments, I’ve been drawn to watch these tatty 70’s British films, which were incredibly popular at the time. Some of them are fairly good-humoured romps, or at least offer amusingly outdated attitudes or themes. But both the story behind this film, and the film itself, are repulsive. Sure, we can try and impose out new fangled attitudes on the past, but if we’re offering The Playbirds up as entertainment, we need to be having a long, hard look at ourselves. But not the kind of long hard look that your ‘selfies’ might command…
It’s a good movie, and the Germans have done a crackiing job. I don’t think Dix is a War Movie person on the whole, but my chap is and he was very impressed with it.
What! My relation directed The Wild Geese! My war movie credentials are impeccable! Pffft!
What relation?
Andrew V McLaglen. On my mother’s side.
So he’s the one with the war movie credentials then n’est ce pas de feud?
It’s in the blood.
Also, the original book was written by a German who’d been through it, and the original movie an American ‘epic’ and you know what the Muricans are like with that. So a German ‘remake’ based on the book and not the 1st movie was the way forward.
What about the 1979 version? Maybe not interested enough in war movies to know about it?
Also that’s American too!
Sigh. Who was it laid down his cold hard cash so you could enjoy a WWI blue-ray at home? Some non-war film expert? Pfft?