It’s the time of year for prizes, but awards are rarely a good barometer of quality. The exception to this venerable rule is when I get awards, in which case I find them to be an accurate barometer of popular thought and a lightning-rod that deserves respect and adulation in equal measure. When other kids dreamt of winning Oscars, I dreamt that one day I would be listed as one of Screench Top Movie Critics, and indeed, this now has come to pass with a Top 30 Listing in the latest worldwide standings. While I can think of plenty of better deserving critics than myself, it’s a genuine honour to be alongside such renowned staples as The Jam Report, The Massie Twins and B&S About Movies; for those keen to know more, the complete rankings are at https://screench.com/critics-rating.html
Obviously, I’d like to thank the Academy, but my imaginary reader will also know that such laurels are hard won, and that every day I face a constant rain of molten excrement in the form of a small minority of aggressive commenters who are hell-bent on cancelling the critical content of my website. It would seem appropriate that I should be both humble and magnanimous in the face of my recent, timely elevation to the Pantheon of the greats, and that I should somehow find the right words to build bridges and heal rifts with those I have quarrelled with. But instead, I’ll say ‘Suck it, freaks!’ Hahaha! Losers!’ and carry off my trophy before the hail of rotten cabbages chases me from the spotlight….
Congratulations! Very much deserved.
Presumably a case of mistaken identity.
Hale and hearty congratulations at a job well done. You rock!
Is the correct answer, thanks!
Not enough rotten cabbages around here. Congratulations, I guess. So who did you . . . I mean, how many people did you . . .
Such a positive, magnanimous tone! Always willing to see the best in any situation, eh Bunty? What are you trying to insinuate? I’m more than willing to share my unexpected good fortune with you all!
Well if the prize was cash money then you must be paying for one hell of a party. Where do I register? I can even bring my own cabbages.
So I have to ask because I’ve never heard of it… what is Screench? yes..I’m blonde.. hahahahahahaha
I would have to assume the most august body imaginable. Their website looks good, and they seem to know what they’re talking about…I’m guessing a hugely influential body with global reach and massive cultural influence…we’re all blonde in some way!
I don’t understand this response… what is the most august body imaginable even mean? I am pretty tuned into what is out there so not having heard about it is strange..nor does it say anything on their site of what they are..
What do you think they are? There’s a note from them in the comments that says more about what they say they’re doing.
clearly I don’t know what they are – hence the question.. sorry i didn’t scroll through all the comments as I assumed the info would be on their actual site. silly me! hahahahah
Not at all. They could be data mining pirates. Or promoting their own website. There’s lots of peer awards in WordPress, I’m not sure there’s much harm in it from my experience. But yes, I was clearer for reading that comment. Maybe they’re rounding up all critics and throwing them into a pit to fight to the death. We’ll find out.
At this point – I’ve lost complete interest or caring.. hahahahahahaha
I know the feelings you express here. When one realizes that one is the the best, well, it can go to one’s head, but that is totally deserved.
As THE top Book Reviewer, I applaud you for this award.
Great, I’ll need a hand getting this podium sorted for the ceremony later, so your help will be welcome.
I hope you’re using the Platinum Gold Executive Podium? You would not believe how many newbs to the world of Bigness use some little plebe podium, almost like they don’t fit in with us. I know, right? Shocking 🙄
Well, if this is being broadcast worldwide, we need the best!
See, you totally belong in this club. Not everyone instinctively understands such nuances…
Forgot to ask what does the trophy look like? Will it be handed over to you on the Platinum Gold Executive Podium by Mike Commode or somesuch?
That is very much the kind of grand ceremony Booky and myself have planned….
I assume the other 2 of the WP4 will be invited, I will need to take the official photo’s and de Gaul will bring the champers and write a review of the ceremony.
This all sounds great! I’m happy to share this game-changing award with the wonderful commenters who have made my website a global success! You guys are the wind beneath my wings!
I know.
I don’t see how being 27th out of 31 is a ‘win’. Also why does it have 31 when the title is ‘top 30’? All sounds a bit hokey to me.
Fraggle knows where I’m coming from. I completely agree. Something’s not quite right…
Jealous mucx? Hahaha
No, I don’t have a movie review blog so nothing to be jealous about. Congratulations though, seriously. 😇
You have a far better blog than I could ever dream of! Yet to generate a single classy photo at my end…
Each to his/her own, I’ve yet to generate a classy movie review. 🤣
Au contraire…
Oh stop it! I can’t cope with all this being nice stuff!
Ok. I note that greatest living Frenchman Alex is conspicuous by his absence. Maybe finding the competition a little too hot for him?
He’ll be raging…
He’ll be back when he’s done the bins.
Hi, I’m Alex from Screench. Our rating isn’t finished yet and we’ll post all 100 blogs soon. Also users will have an option to vote for any blog and impove position of their favorite blogger (critic). Now we are prepearing positions 31-50 for publishing. We’ll finish it in the next 7-10 days.
Cool, thanks for the update! Seems to have brought some good cheer for those nominated, so thanks! Look forward to seeing more…
🤣🤣 cruising!
Outstanding! Well deserved! You are the barometer by which I test the entertainment weather!
Is the correct answer, thank you kindly!
Congrats. Great blog.
Not as good as yours, but I’ll take the compliment.Thanks!
I will take that compliment too.
Congratulations! There’s nothing more fun than second guessing award shows and screaming about your faves that got robbed. But in this case, I’m glad they got it right…….!
Total agreement, well said. Obviously your blog is more deserving, but I can only imagine that on this occasion the Academy have given in to public sentiment and a spectacular groundswell of popular opinion. Thanks for the positivity!
You are too kind!
And you review real films and not ones about Leprechauns….
Fix!
Hahaha! I felt lucky when I aced Alex’s film quiz yesteday, winning it fair and square too.
I’m almost tired of this now, this non-stop cavalcade of adulation and glory, there’s just SO MUCH WINNING!
In all honesty, I believe you probably made up this award to corrupt your innocent followers into believing that your some sort of God. Well, you haven’t fooled me or any of the more savvy readers out there. One day you’ll be found out, my friend. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But one day…
Hardly magnanimous words! The green-eyed monster of jealousy, I think, is speaking for you. No placing as yet for your blog or for Alex’s scribbings, but they haven’t announced placings for the top 10,000 yet, I’d imagine there’s a booby prize for last position if you wait long enough, like a Golden Raspberry or something like that. Adios, also-rans!
I wouldn’t want to win your fictional prize anyway. And hardly a prize – you came 27th!
And where exactly are you on the list of great and good, hmmm? Hahaha Bunty! These are the power elite, the most eligible, the top dogs, the big kahunas, the big bananas. Nothing fictional about success, it’s real, it’s sadly clear you have no experience of it as yet….
Oof. A dagger through my heart. I’ll tell you where I am on the list of great and good: 32nd. They just haven’t got to me yet.