The Film Authority Speaks Yet Again

I’m trying to get into the habit of posting more radio activity; a few days ago I had the pleasure of contributing to national news show Good Morning Scotland. The subject was the return of the Frasier Crane sitcom, which is scheduled to run on the new Paramount + streaming channel. There’s also plans to dust off IP like Flashdance, The Italian Job and Fatal Attraction, so it’s a clear opportunity for the studio to capitalise on a wealth of popular intellectual property. Link at the bottom of this post, last five minutes is the business end.

It’s also worth taking the opportunity to thank the many contributors and commenters who have made this blog such a huge success in my imagination. Unfortunately, as has been previously noted, there are a small minority who cannot control their worst impulses and simply do not know how to behave themselves online; I did not create this comments section as an inane chat room, or as a place for unfortunate people to attempt to sell and/or swap their soiled rags and clothes. These people know exactly who they are and I will act swiftly in future to stop such behaviour.

I can’t believe I have to say this, but it beggars belief that these same people are now accusing me of using inflammatory language towards them; I note that innocuous if colourful comments that I have made such as “I’ll smash your melt in’ and ‘I’ll crush your skull like a creme egg’ are now being taken out of context in an unscrupulous effort to make me look bad and discredit my blog. Such politically motivated, selfish behaviour should not be tolerated; I am keen to put the whole thing behind me for the sake of unity moving forward, and trust my complainers will see sense and feel the same way.

Thank you for listening to my message.


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  1. Captain Bookstooge to all ye landlubbers! Avast and Ahoy there mateys!

    Personally, I plan on a rainbow tux with polkadot suspenders and polkadot bow tie. As the designated driver, I plan on stocking up on energy drinks, so expect this boat to be flying!

    Captains don’t fetch and carry. We look spiffy in rainbow suits while consuming inhuman amounts of caffeine and screaming “Avast” and “Ahoy” at random passersby. Don’t worry, I’ll be hiring a ton of people to do all that menial work for us. I know a guy who knows some ex-(lep)cons who really need the gig. I’m sure their background checks will be just fine.

    I think one of the items on our agenda is this continued lack by Ol’10 of talking about us, specifically, when he goes on the Beeb and other such audio shows. It’s not called the WP1 after all.

    • I think you fancy yourself a pirate.

      The Bbc generally do not want to hear about such outre, counter-cultural characters as WP4; Seaquest. Best kept from the public ears, lest fragile have to clean them out. So when does Alex the dancing fool get here?

      • Fancy? I think it’s a fact. My guns speak for themselves 😉

        See, who are you to decide what the Beeb wants? I think the Beeb wants the WP4. A fresh franchise to stir the general interest 😀

        • I guess we could be the start of a revolution in broadcasting! But who could be the other two to make up the fantastic four? Any ideas? The best and the brightest only!

          • Now, now. I think Fraggle and Alex have spent enough on their outfits to be automatically included. We look good, we look dashing, we have a boat. What more does the world need?

            • Is it too many eggs in one basket? The finest branes of a generation, gathered on your boat, can you as Captain vouch for our safety?

              • Absolutely! With 10,000 milligrams of caffeine racing through my system, every biological system of mine will be working in Ultimate Overdrive Mode. I’ll see icebergs from 10 miles away. Those Nigerian Pirates? Their bullets will bounce off my chest and I’ll thrash them barehanded. I’ll toss that typhoon back to Japan.

                However, the only thing I can’t protect us all against is each other. So if one of us is a secret enemy, well, good luck!

          • Excuse me Mr. Johnny-come-lately-last-to-the-party! Not so long ago you were saying NO to the whole thing, and now you’re all Mr.Decisionmaker?? Pfft! And double pfft!

  2. Never got in to Frasier though the re-runs are on most days on the TV in our reception at work. It’s comedy though so that’s no surprise. You sound quite Scottish on the radio, well done.

  3. You don’t use such threatening language on the Beeb. I think you should aspire to the same gentlemanly persona online. As your guests do.

    Looking forward to this cruise you had planned for all your visitors. Destination French Riviera? I don’t know how bad I want to go to the Orkneys.

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