Apologies for not posting this earlier, but I’ve tried to make a habit of posting up my BBC radio work as well as written stuff, and here’s the link to the new batch of audio reviews.
On Prime, Owen Wilson and Selma Hayek strike sparks in Bliss, on Netflix, Zendaya and John David Washington strike sparks in Malcolm and Marie, and on Curzon, Sam Neil and some nice sheep appear in comedy Rams.
All of the above are reviewed from about 90 minutes into The Afternoon Show, where I was talking with presenter Grant Stott and fellow-critic Raisah Ahmed. The result is on the BBC website for the next two weeks, certified fresh for serious amounts of ironing or domestic chores.
(I also did the Golden Globes for Good Morning Scotland the day before, but since these were predictions rather than an assessment of the results, I’ll leave that unblogged; guessing the Golden Globes is as precise a science as guessing your weight in jellybeans.)
Thanks as always to regular readers and commenters. I value all comments, and was obviously not speaking literally when I offered to smash teeth in, use skulls as goblets, or burn down the houses of those who have thought differently to me.These comments simply do not represent who I am in 2021.
In these politically charged times, I will be making an effort not to use such incendiary language in future, but please rest assured that these threatening undercurrents are still very much close to my intentions and my heart.
There remains a small minority of self-styled rabble-rousers who do not know how to behave on a quality film blog, and these people will continue to be shamed; the innocent will be punished, the guilty rewarded!
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000rw6m
I apologize for bringing down the tone of this comment section. I blame it all on Bookstooge. He’s taught me everything I know about commenting.
It would be impossible to bring down the tone set by commenters today. They have broken new ground in irrelevance.
Pfft!
Actually that sounds like an accolade. Well done everyone!
Also now I really want to watch Shogun again. Goodnight peeps.
Crisps?
I love your accent! What part of France are ye from?
It may be the rigorous intellectual discourse, but everyone on the blog seems to be hailed as being from France. Do like Montpellier, nice place. A bit rusty on the lingo.
I’ve heard that Nice is nice.
It’s so nice in Nice. I had an amazing night there, wonderful place for a surprise house-party. What’s so wrong about Nice, love and understanding?
Canada, Gateshead, Nopeland, Scotland, Bookstoogyland, Paris. Take your pick.
Is Scotland where they make scotch eggs?
I guess so, never seen a factory.
I think they’re behind the hopscotch factories.
We make tape as well.
Yes! Of course. But everyone pinched the recipe and now we all do them.
Glad someone has the facts at their fingertips.
Always on the ball!
That’s right! I even found one in a bar in Osaka.
I Even Found a Scotch Egg in a Bar in Osaka is a title that would intrigue me.
I’m thinking Wakizashi-San is in Japan! We’re going global!
He’ll be in Gateshead. Don’t let him try and flog you outdated sports gear.
Don’t do sports, built for comfort not for speed.
Japan via Manchester. Came over in 2002 looking for ninja. Still haven’t seen any…
Wasn’t a great year for ninja-sporting, to be fair.
I blame James Clavell
He kind of blew the scene for the rest of us. Very hard to spot a nesting pair in the wild. What’s the natural habitat?
TV and Film, I think.
Just saw how prolific Clavell was. Busy man. Chased away the ninjas though.
He had me convinced that Japan was full of samurai and ninja. I’ve never quite gotten over the disappointment…
There’s massive sea monsters too, right?
Yes. Fortunately, they only seem to hang around Tokyo. I’m far away from there.
With good reason.
My comments editor has turned this whole conversation into a surreal stream of consciousness. I’m struggling to make sense of some of the gear shifts…
It doesn’t help that the comments don’t always turn up on the right place. N’est ce pas?
Glasgow Uni. Scotch eggs. Hoodies. Toronto. Anything but films.
You forgot Newcastle.
Never claimed it was a complete list, just a snapshot.
Still….
It’s good to be eclectic, gives you more gravitas, and really you need that.
I’ve got gravitas up the wazoo!
Maybe see a doctor.
I know, right? Especially when you get six hundred like Ol’10.
The internet buckling under pressure.
I know! He’s so profligate!
Aren’t you and Ol’10 in the UK? What time is it over there?
Late opening at the co-op. Anybody want anything?
Wine. Lots of wine.
Me too!
Chin chin!
オールドテンを無視して、彼は怒っています。
びっくりしました。Your Japanese is better than mine! 🤩
Ahem, I googled. 🤦♀️
You could have turned off at next junction, Barton Park services, didn’t need to go to Gateshead. Also A1 A66 M6 a bit of a mad way to go from London.
Information that would have been useful to me some time ago. Visiting friends in Sheffield on way back from Pinewood if that helps.
I see.
Not “about 90 minutes in.” 1:41:10 unless you want to hear reports on how much snoo they’re getting in Scootland.
Well, that would be a bonus for people who don’t know what country they live in!
He’s just showing off because he’s got lovely snow and Cherbourg and Gateshead don’t.I know cos I checked the BBC weather forecast.
Alex does not live in Cherbourg! It’s all lies!
Of course I don’t live in Cherbourg. I said I was going there to look for umbrellas. Try to keep up, at least with your snoo shoveling.
You’ll need to sort out this mess, once and for all! All you know about France you got from films.
No, all I know about Scootland I got from films. I know you like to wreck ships full of whiskey on your coasts. I know you have picturesque towns with mermaids that are ripe for takeover by Texan oil interests. And I know your big cities are full of druggies who like to look at trains all day. See?
Ok, so you’ve seen three films. I’m sure you could organize a quiz. But what country do you live in?
Have you never heard of a cosmopolitan man? I’m a citizen of the world.
Sigh. Let’s try this another way. Fraggle somehow thinks you look like Paul Rudd and live in France. neither of these things are true, right? I’m not saying you’re catfishing anyone, I’m just trying to establish the facts, as she somehow believes them…
Fraggle has her feet on the ground. You’re the one who’s confused.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMxGVfk09lU
A Canadian living in France of course. Also I think you’re much nicer looking than Paul Rudd, whoever he is.
Alex looks like Morph! Big google eyes and a massive dome! And you don’t know who Paul Rudd is? Where do I start?
Nowhere works for me. Isn’t he antman? I think. Wasn’t keen.
Me neither.
He wants clothes. Hoodies.
Who does?? Antman??
Close. Alex.
Cool, I’m up for a hoody exchange!
Right, nope! Stop! Red cards for fraggle and Alex! This is a serious film blog not a being and buy jumble sake to swap old dirty joggy bottoms with each other. Off with you both, no arguments, no deflections. And Booky, you stay out of this! This is NOT a swaporama! FFS! The nonsense I put up with…
Pfft. 🙄
No argument, young lady. Off! You and Alex can take your filthy rags with you! Shamed by your own behaviour! Straight Reds!
You’ll miss us when we’re gone. Lonely boy. Sad.
No, I’ll be enjoying the intellectual salon conversations with cineastes around the globe without worrying about you and Alex selling three pairs of sports socks for a pound. A second red would equal a suspension, so no lip!
https://youtu.be/EuvNY0AHCjo
What’s that, Alex’s fan club meeting? Hahaha!
Don’t be silly, obviously that’s Scotland not Paris. 🙄
You are perilously close to a second red for persistent arguing. Booky and Alex have taken their punishment with grace. Don’t test me!
No they haven’t they’re just busy doing life. They’ll be back.
So, for the 900th time, where do you live?
You want a mailing address?? Sorry you missed both my birthday and Valentine’s. And I only want presents from Fraggle anyway. Specifically one of those trendy City University of Newcastle upon Tyne hoodies.
Mate, this is not a wishing well. Or Santa’s grotto. If you are cat fishing my loyal commenters, you’ll be for it, buster!
I’m willing to do a hoodie exchange! But I don’t want that smelly ol’ James Caan jersey from Rollerball. Did you at least get that signed?
Look, what if Martin Scorsese cones on here looking for the latest thinking on Val Lewton and finds you begging for old clothes? Hmm?
So what have you got to exchange for my Newcastle Uni hoody?
I don’t want to wear anything from a Scorsese movie. And you’re the one who’s into wearing old clothes anyway.
Fake news. My t shirt is brand new.
Did you smell it? Dude, it smells like Jimmy Caan after double-overtime. Probably still has some of his blood on it. I wouldn’t let that thing in my house.
It’s brand new. You are deflecting…
Deflecting from what? Get mellow with the Shat, a proud countryman.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKLkmTz-kJw
What is Shat?
William Shatner?
I can exchange a University of Guelph hoodie. That’s official U.G. merch. And here I was thinking that the C.U.N.T. hoodies were just an urban myth! And you can score the real deal!
It’s what happens.
Shat happens.
You can add it to your collection:
https://www.cafepress.com/mf/31201099/shat-happens-light-shir_tshirt?shop=shathappens&productId=327495703
No idea what this is. What has this to do with anything?
It. Is. The. Shat.
Do you need a picture on the t-shirt?
https://www.twicethetees.com/view/37791/shat-happens-william-shatner-t-shirt
Red carding you and fraggle, this is not a charity shop and I’m not having you two trying to flog yer old rags. Begone!
We know you don’t like the Irish, or the French. But dislike of the Shat is dissing all Canadians. For your punishment you’ll have to join in with the following sing-along. And I want to HEAR it! Now go!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI3UfxyIdgs
I have no problems, great affection in fact for Irish and French people, and also for William Shatner. So yet more fake news! Enjoy your rag swap, suckers!
Well, I don’t see anyone on these boards bartering for a Glasgow U hoodie.
Boo! Kidnapping of the President is classic Shatner! The Devil’s Rain. The Intruder. Kingdom of the Spiders. Miss Congeniality. Home runs all.
Now who’s deflecting?
Does Glasgow have a U?
Yes. Glasgow U is a place. So what is desirable about swapping university sweatshirts?
Are you a grad of Glasgow U?
Swapping sweaters is just a bit of fun.
I am a grad of Glasgow U. Transferred from the school of hard knocks. Yourself?
Rubbish hoody.
Not sure I’ve ever seen such an item. Hoods are where Leprechauns can be found. Just sayin’
Toronto. After stints elsewhere. Avoided the hard knocks though. That didn’t sound like any fun.
On reflection, I wasn’t interested enough in hard knocks to take it further. Wouldn’t have the stamina for a PhD in knocks of any consistency, just not my bag. They don’t offer it at Toronto?
I’ll swap a Toronto Uni hoody for a Newcastle one!
I’m agog.
Welcome to my world.
You’re in the Denial phase.
Wait, Gateshead? I’ve been to Gateshead!
Shh I’m listening to the Scottish lassie.
Driving up from London and missed Scotch corner…
Thanks.
Saved you 10 mins of snow forecasts…
I’ve got more snow than I want to even think about right here without dealing with somebody else’s snow.
Exactly. Keen to spare your flashbacks.
Flashbacks? I’m brushing off and moving cars right now! I wish THIS was the alternate reality.
This is the alternate reality, right? What’s the other one called?
I don’t know what it’s called, but there I drive a hover mazerati!
A boy’s fantasy land, then.
No, that’s the real world, remember?
And a yellow card for you just for being you and in the wrong place at the wrong time. Red carding Alex and fraggle for trying to sell/swap their old rags on my serious film blog. Consider yourself warned.
Wrong place, wrong time? ha, you’ve obviously been misinformed. The world revolves around The Bookstooge, not The Bookstooge around the world.
And besides, carding is racist. I’m not sure exactly how, but I’ll dig up a way for it to be, somehow…
Alex and fraggle are dragging you down to their level. You’ll be flogging your old clothes on here soon…
Ha. I’m still wearing clothes I bought 20 years ago! Waste not, want not. A great yankee saying if ever I heard one…
How long have you had the tin foil helmet?
Oh man, while I’ve used one for close to 30 years now, tinfoil wears out pretty fast, what with all the radio waves the lizard overlords are always directing at me. So if I had to guess, I’d say I go through a roll a week?
Seems about right. You can always double it over for maximum protection. It seems tough that the lizard people have singled you out, but I guess they have their reasons. So, no clothes to swap then? I can’t believe I have to tell people not to swap clothes with each other. Do you think Roger Ebert has these kinds of problems?
They’ve singled me out because I’m on to their plan to take over and only I can stop them with my ultra-secret tinfoil enhanced mind powers.
Nope, no clothes swapping from me. Clothes are too personal to be swapped, kind of like arms and legs.
Phew. One down…
And Ebert had Siskel, so I’d say you’re sitting pretty. Better appreciate just how good you’ve got it!
I do. Every day.
Of course he doesn’t, he’s dead.
I just checked and I am still alive.
Sigh.