Every day, imaginary and non-existent readers alike ask me when I’ll be publishing a review of 1961 British comedy What A Whopper! That day has now finally come, as I’ve been able to refresh my memory by watching this endearingly drab film again. There’s a number of points of interest here, not least the authorship of Terry Nation, still celebrated for his writing for Dr Who and his creation of the ultimate fictional nemesis, the Daleks. Anyone seeking insight into Terry Nation’s celebrated sci-fi world should steer well clear of What A Whopper! because this is very much a mundane slice of business, despite the vague fantasy theme that director Gilbert Gunn resolutely refuses to explore.
This is the story of the Loch Ness Monster, Nessie as she’s better known, and the constant, on-going search for evidence of her existence that’s been going on for centuries. The financial gain is what unites the characters here, from Adam Faith’s wide-boy Tony who heads north with a loudspeaker of primordial moaning, to Sid James as Harry, a barman who is more pre-occupied with poaching and selling salmon under the noses of a local copper (Terry Scott). Indeed, the monster itself doesn’t turn up until the closing scene; Gunn and Nation are more interested in various bedroom window shenanigans as villagers and interlopers run into various tense scenarios.
There’s a wealth of vintage talent here, from Wilfred Brambell, Charles Hawtrey, Molly Weir, Lance Percival and Clive Dunn, plus an extended cameo from Spike Milligan, who had a friendship with Nation which led directly to the infamous Pakistani Dalek sketch. Veteran broadcaster Fyfe Robertson plays himself in a cameo, and it’s revealing that the Scots are portrayed as being in fear and awe of the monster; several locals speak of the intense and foreboding dread that precede sightings of Nessie.
Of course, most locals know that Nessie sightings are closely linked to the inter-dimensional portal unwisely opened by Alistair Crowley during his occupancy of Boleskin house on the loch’s banks. Such portals is not something to be taken lightly, if only for the practical reason that it’s always harder to close these things than open them, and sightings of prehistoric monsters are likely to be connected to such shenanigans. What A Whopper! doesn’t go there, or indeed anywhere in particular, but offers pubs, ancient gags and very restrained British humour. Wrongly listed as both a Comedy Classic and Erotica online, this is neither, but a curious aperitif for those seeking undemanding film-making. And the monster is pretty cool when it finally arrives, although it doesn’t look much like the real Nessie, still Scotland’s best kept secret to this day.
What A Whopper is a competatively priced £49.99 right now on DVD from Amazon, or you can get a taster from the link below.
I think what shocked me most here is the price of this beast. How on earth??? Still funny that it is mistakenly tagged comedy/erotica though. Sounds like there’s more to it than meets the eye.
If you only buy one fifty quid dvd of Loch Ness monster erotica, this is the one!
Your public clearly expect a lot from you and boy do you deliver even when the discoveries are not so exciting. Interesting cast though.
This has quite a cast, but the expereince of watching it, not quite as rewarding as one might hope. Not a strong recommend on my part…
Well, you’ve definitely convinced me that Nessie is real. I didn’t believe a thing until you mentioned Crowley. Everything I know about Crowley I learned from the tv show Supernatural and opening gates to hell to let monsters through seems just like his style. What a wanker.
You claim this isn’t erotica, but the picture for the clip clearly shows a woman showing the backs of her knees. Shame on you sir, for showing such filth (even a temples worth, by gum!) on the internet. I’ll be speaking to the internet police about this right after my post about guns and ammo goes up.
As for the price, let your readers know that I worked out a special deal. For only one box of Lucky Charms (the family size though), this movie can viewed with minimal advertisements and links to my “Greatest Posts of All Times”.
I would be misspelling this film if I claimed it was a festival of erotic art. It is not. It is beyond tame. I think Alex is saving his bag of vintage coins to see it, so maybe he’ll take you up on your generous offer. Cool monster, though, right?
Without being a Smokey the bear grouch, it should be part of the country code that if you open a portal, you have to close it, right?
Very cool monster! That tire is very sheik looking.
I fully concur. It’s just common courtesy to close the hellgate if you open it. Like using your blinker when changing lanes in traffic. Is it too much to ask for common decency from people like Crowley? I hope he’s ashamed of himself right now.
He’s probably got other crimes to face up to, so if he’s reading this blog, sort yourself out AC! It’s out taxpayer money we use to recapture all the creatures that sneak through your carelessly open portals! Sigh…
It’s a crime to change lanes without using your blinker in scotland? Man, you guys make Chuck Norris look soft. Here, if the cops even care, you just get a fine. or more likely a warning.
If your monster problems get too big, I’d recommend Monster Hunters International. A little pricey but man, talk about professionals doing a good job. I hired them the other year to get rid of a bunch of mermaid fairies infesting our toilet and they were there on time and didn’t leave a mess afterwards. Very polite too.
Oh, yes, we had a whole lot of aliens living under Loch Ness as well, was going to get exterminators in, but in the end decided to just let Zygons be Zygons.
Been working on that joke since I was 8…
I hope you’ve been appropriately ashamed of yourself since 8 as well? That was terrible!
Well, I thought a Tom Baker fan might get it, but you were probably busy reading The Celestial Toilet-Attendant or some other obscurity…
Sorry, not that much of a Tom Baker fan. More of a “Tom Baker’s Scarf fan” than anything.
Sigh. Wasted my joke.
Yep. I think you mis-read the situation this time.
You won’t get arrested for that, will you? Any country that arrests people for not using their blinkers is capable of anything!
We run a tight ship here. None of your ‘maybe’ traffic rules. Everything clear and no ambiguity. Right side of the road too…
Oh dear. So you WILL be arrested. Well, it was nice knowing you….
Haha I have never heard of this film! For that price though, it seems a bargain.
Can’t promise it’ll remain at a mere £50 a pop so best buy a few and stock up on gifts for next Xmas….
You know, every day readers ask when you’re going to review the Leprechaun series, but you don’t humour them. Instead we get this nonsense.
Hey Alex, I was thrilled for you when you pulled off something of a Pulitzer-prize winning coup by bagging first dibs on the Leprechaun boxed-set. But in your hour of triumph, maybe you could afford to be magnanimous towards the little people like myself who have to survive on the scraps?
Well, I guess since Nessie is a local hero you get a pass.
Well, Nessie is a real thing, whearas Leprachauns are just a flight of fancy….
I actually visited Scotland in 1976, and took a snap of Nessie. A bit blurry (cloudy day, not much of a camera), but you can make her out.
The wispy clouds thnd to come in through the portal; 76 was quite a warm year if I remember correctly, so it was hard to get a clear pic with such a lot of steam on the water surface. Best keep your picture quiet, don’t want lots of scientists coming up here and ruining everything….
Scientists don’t buy merch. But you do want the tourists don’t you?
As long as they don’t litter and bother the monsters….
I expect one of you’ll be doing the Lambton Worm at some point?
Was that the Lair of the White Worm?
Nailed it!
Way ahead of you, you have to get up early to beat me at this game….
https://film-authority.com/2019/08/25/the-lair-of-the-white-worm-1988/
Unfortunately that movie had fek all to do with the real Lambton Worm, the story of which was appropriated by Bram Stoker and mullered, with further mullerings in the stupid movie by Russell.
Oh, so you are familiar with the actual worm itself? How did you get to know it?
It lived a couple of miles away from us, but that was in 14th century and it was cruelly murdered by Lord Lambton when he came back from the crusades. Needs a proper movie really.
Wait, you lived in the 14th century? Might explain some of the olde English spellyings on your blog….
Hah! Kettle.Pot.Black.
I haven’t seen that movie since I was a kid. Gonna have to go back and take a look sometime. It’s further up the playlist than What a Whopper! anyway.
Man, you just can’t stop trashing What A Whopper! can you? It’s only fifty quid! Give it a go!
What, what kind of kid watches Ken Russell films? I guess that’s all the library had?
Oh don’t it’s stupid and awful.
And disrespectful to the real worm….
Exactly.
A quid? Is that like a dubloon or a kopek?
It’s the coin of the Queen’s realm. What do you use, gold coins? lucky charms? Some kind of Lep based currency?
Leprechaun money had held its value over the centuries. These notes of the Queen’s Realm, not so much. Do you still have ha’pennies?
Yes, I’ve got a sock full of them that I use to thrash cheeky Canadians….
I might pay 50 ha’pennies for this DVD. Is that the equivalent of a peck of quid?
Sigh. Look, I’m trying to have a strict ‘no threats’ rule for my commenters, but you really are testing me. There’s no such thing as a peck of quid. Pounds, guineas, shillings, sixpences, hapenny bits, these are the currency of the realm, my good man, although I’d have thought that they’d be reluctant to sell to someone with your purchase history….
“There’s no such thing as a peck of quid.”
Says someone who never had a peck of quid!
And I’ll have you know that all my money is legal tender, whatever my past purchasing history. Even my bales of Canadian Tire money, which I’ve been saving up for just such a special occasion.
I had to look this up to see if it was real. I think it’s like empty iron Bru bottles here, which were worth 10p each until a few years back. How many What A Whopper DVD’s are you buying?
I checked and there’s still a pic of my big pile of CT money online. It was for an interview I did ten years ago:
http://desk-space.blogspot.com/2009/08/alex-good.html
Except now that pile of bills is even bigger!
I may not buy any DVDs with it. It may go for a year’s supply of coke. Or a box of Lucky Charms. Those are the other prizes on tap around here, aren’t they?
Right, so I can’t read the post it note, but I can see the image on your computer screen, and now I can’t unsee it.
I think an expanation is in order….
That’s classic American cinema.
It looks a bit rude.
Yeah, unfortunate I was at that point in the movie when I took the picture . . .
Actually, that particular movie has had a Criterion release. I shit you not.
I didn’t know Criterion had released a film called Furry Slippers/Tighty Whities Wasteground Orgy?
*sigh* You obviously need to expand your horizons.
Female Trouble (1974)
And this is the side of your work that you choose to promote in a public arena?
I’m old. I don’t have to feel shame any longer.